!!! Caution: Contains Strong Language !!!

Pandora and I seem to be connecting lately. "Hate This" by Grendel played followed by "Mordfabrik" by Suicide Commando. I realize (most of) you might not have my taste in music, so here are some examples:


Excerpt from Hate This: "Hate this, you motherfucker! Hate this, you know who I am? Hate this, you motherfucker! [...] You think you know about hate? You think you know about anger, motherfucker?"

The entirety of Mordfabrik: "Start the attack; the evil lurks on your back. It's like a rope around your neck. Let's hang him higher and higher. Feel no remorse, this is the only resource. It's like a devilish force. It's taking over me, it's taking over me."

All of this is happening while I'm trying (in vain) to remember lyrics to "Non e ver" by Tito Mattei for my opera audition this afternoon at two. It is, most certainly, an off-day for music and lyrics and singing. I cannot remember lyrics to songs that have been my favorites for years much less this bloody Italian. Realizing this, I am obviously becoming more and more stressed and I think that has a huge impact on whether or not I am in charge or if Val is. She was in charge last night when I went to sleep so it was not restful. I woke up this morning unable to will myself out of bed to breakfast and just managed to get to where I was supposed to be on time. Also, I have a lot of work that needs to be done this weekend... a LOT of work with a busy Saturday.

So, why am I procrastinating? 

I do not like facing the real world and would prefer to live in my alternate reality. If only life were as simple as getting up, getting lost in a good book or Lord of the Rings Online, eating, sleeping, and playing around. When I become stressed, I need to get some better coping mechanisms. If anyone who happens to chance upon this blog has a couple, I would be appreciative. Right now, my coping mechanisms consist of the following: removing myself from the situation, pretending as if it does not exist, procrastinating until there is no time left to avoid reality, stupid things, or I will either watch a movie, browse the internet, or play games like the aforementioned Lord of the Rings Online, Modern Warfare, et cetera. 

On a completely unrelated topic, what I desire right now above anything is a 'so-hot-you-burn-your-ass' bubble bath complete with a bottle of wine, some nice scented candles, and a good novel with some music playing in the background. That, dear readers, sounds like Heaven. It is a pity I have no time for such.